:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
