It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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