i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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