My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If I die, sorry about rent.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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