it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
