Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
