Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
