Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
