i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
