just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
