OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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