you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
