help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
