well you can't waste a boner
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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