On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize