I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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