champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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