my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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