stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
