Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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