my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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