you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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