If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
