i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
