so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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