The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
