HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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