he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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