So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
