O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
