Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
