Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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