??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
