I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
