it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
