i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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