I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
