I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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