Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
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you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.