i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
