honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
