we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
