You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
