dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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