apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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