That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize