we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
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Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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