I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
