You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
