I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize