She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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