so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
