A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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