ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
