Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I skipped work to stalk him.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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