Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
