Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Still dying that you shit outside
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
