shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
