There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
