he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
