Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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