hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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