Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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