I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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