dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
